I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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