Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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