Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
