So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
