The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
