Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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