It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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