I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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