i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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