highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
This house was built for laser tag.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
