You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Randomize
