piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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