Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
