DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Randomize
