I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
