Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
