Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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