Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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