he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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