Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
