i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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