you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
