I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
