chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
