I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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