did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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