It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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