listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
