So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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