just tell him i said nine months
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
so much tequila, so little girl.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
