i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
