U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
