There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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