I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
