I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
