I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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