i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
