I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
