i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
