my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
