Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
