Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
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