i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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