just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
