Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
