I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
