i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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