I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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