Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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