Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
