Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
