I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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