i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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