just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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