Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
