i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
