when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
