Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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