her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
As shirtless as possible
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
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