I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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