i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
