p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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