I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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