Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
