is wine microwaveable?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
