sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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