Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
