Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
